Completely pathetic. Bila Melayu nak maju?

   Amry’s Guide on How to Write A Malay Song for Dummies

1. write about how your girlfriend left you / how her parents won’t let her see you anymore
2. whine about it. Throughout the whole album

   If you still have a semblance of career after this, rinse and repeat ad nauseam.

   Srsly, I’ve been listening to these sorts of songs since… forever. Can’t we seriously have a song that is not about how heartbroken you are? M. Nasir might be a pretentious pseudophilosopher, but at least he managed to show some creativity. Are we as a race that mundane? Forget Wawasan 2020, we need a new generation of artists that doesn’t suck.

   Look at that girl. She’s singing about peaches; so why aren’t we singing about our foodstuffs, eh? How about injecting a little variety into our musical scene, for God’s sake?

Seriously, shut the fuck up

   My fellow hostelites,

   It has come to my attention that some of you are under the delusion that you are, in fact, has a talent in singing. That is, of course, complete and utter bollocks, seeing that you are more likely to choke and die on your own stupidity than ever having a remote semblance of this elusive thing called “talent”.

   Therefore, please do us a service by NOT singing loudly at nighttime. In fact, don’t even bother opening your mouths. Talking is an optional thing, and it’s better for you to remain silent and be thought of as stupid, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. So in other words, shut the fuck up.

   Also, I know you guys have very nice stereo systems. But no, I really don’t want to hear your whiny Malay songs from my room. Or nausea-inducing Cantopop. Or some Indian / Bangladeshi song that made me think racial hatred is acceptable in some cases, after all. Or even English songs — whatever happened to being considerate to your neighbours, hmm? Fine, you’re a fanboy and you masturbate excessively to whatever infernal singer / band that’s doing those songs — no need to shove that down to my throat now, do we?

   So friends, hostelites, countrymen — seriously, shut the fuck up.